Baby-assembly in progress...

Searching for uptime stats...

Please await further instructions...

The human-offspring-compendium is being converted into photons as we speak and shoud be beamed to you at any moment.

Arrival of the photons depend on factors such as, distance to your location from beaming station, the neutino density along the path and the mood of said photons. In addition, bio-photons don't work on Mondays.